Clear and Present WILL be in danger!

So it's been a little bit since I wrote my first and well.. last blog for the time. A few things have happened since then, I have gained more love, mental stability, strength and the best damn coaches anyone could have!

First of all, since the last write up I have broke a Deadlift PR, ran 2 5k's, learned kipping pull ups with a band and figured out what my 'box family' really is. This has been an emotional roller coaster for me since day 1 and I never thought I would have even made it this far. With the intensity in my heart and the determination in my eyes and my coaches voice in my head I will never give or let up. I've figured out that no matter how crappy your day is or how bad you think a personal relationship is going you can walk into my small box, be greeted with a smile, high five and in the same breath getting your butt kicked. I've noticed in the last year the changes that I have made although they are very small to me, they are major to others.

My Family

This is a family... my coaches are my parents, mentors and counselors... the guys and girls are my brothers and sisters, team mates and my best friends... they make me stronger and we have a bond that no one can break.. they give me my determination and make me push harder everyday and they all catch me if I happen to fall.... find a family like mine and you'll understand... 3..2..1.. GO!

We had a visitor tonight at our box from CFLA, while talking with this visitor I learned that my 'family' is impressed by what I have done. Although I think I might dumb-down the 'impressed', it really opened my eyes. I am just someone who came into the box with a friend that told me I needed to do something. I think about things over the last year and what I have accomplished and in the middle of a WOD you don't notice it, but take a step back and you feel like you have conquered a lot. I didn't have goals or hopes or ambitions, all I wanted to do was drop weight and get back to being decent and not chunked up. I am 13lbs less than I was a year ago but everyone keeps seeing changes, the change that I don't see is in the scale... BUT.. what I DO see is in my heart, my speed, my mental toughness, strength and stability. SO, anyhow.. I've had a few weeks that I haven't been to the box and with the weather changing in Florida I feel sluggish... if you go to a box and think no one will miss you, you are a DAMN FOOL!! When you feel like you are hitting rock bottom tell someone in your box and I bet they will light that fire underneath your sluggish ass and you will get moving.

Too many times I have let people tell me I am doing the wrong thing or question me on what I think is right. I am a very strong and determined person and if you tell me NOT to do something I will tell you to kiss my ass get up and do it 10 times and each time get better with it just to prove you wrong!

I decided a month before my 27th birthday that I was going to do my first 5k at Disney World. Well I've been a athlete for 13 years and hated running with every inch of my body. See, what people don't understand is Crossfit will make you do shit you NEVER wanted to do... it's something about endorphins and all that crap I can't wrap my brain around right now. But in all honesty it's more than that. Well I did my 5k and finished it with a 16 minute mile... my goal was to finish, I was so proud of myself and I couldn't stand it. I kept asking people around me if they were proud of me and they were but it wasn't a satisfaction and excitement that I got from my box family. So, when I got back I asked about another 5k and was TOLD I was running another one at the end of the month... ummm.... okay, why not! This 5k I did with my girls from my box and one of them being my coach, and they are the best group anyone could ask for. Finished with a time of 44 and some change. Although I shaved some time off my first race at the beginning of the month and was happy I improved, I was more excited that they were there to see it and see what I have done for myself with their help.

I know that I am something special at my box and they are something special to me. My anger, frustration, aggravation, blood, sweat and tears have been left at that box I can't tell you how many times. I've dropped the F Bomb to push out that last rep, I have left my skin on that pull-up bar because I didn't want to let go, my tears are still on the concrete slab outside because my anger got the best of me during the day and the WOD put me on the ground. I didn't have goals but now I do, I know I can be a beast and I am here doing this because not only do I need this but I will prove you all wrong about what you think of me and my family!

Don't under estimate the power of a woman, her mind, strength and what she can do when you tell her no!!

It's only the beginning ...

So here it is the beginning of a very long road and a battle with myself.

In the fall of 2009 I was convinced to go and join CFJAX and sell my life to them. CFJAX is not a box that you want to play with, they are VERY serious about what they do, how they train and what they eat at the same time of having a good time doing what they do best... push you to your fullest potential and then pass that! When I joined the box all I could think was this is something that has to be done and it doesnt matter how I feel about it, well it really does matter how you feel. If you don't feel like going to the Box and don't feel like doing the WOD of the day, it will show and others can see that. If you don't have that drive in yourself then they won't be able to help you.

After going to CFJax for a couple of months and doing that last WOD before Christmas I started finally getting into it, I wanted to break PR's and do BETTER at what I had been missing before. I was getting really excited and couldn't wait til after Christmas when we would get back into the BOX and doing WOD's. Right before Christmas I had an ankle injury and tore ligaments in my right ankle, which it was already weak from a prior injury. Apparently someone with a higher power thought I need a longer break than I was ready to take. I had atleast 2 and a half months to really sit and think about what I really wanted to do when it came to fitness and getting myself into shape.

The time that passed seemed like it took forever, but when that time came to go back to the Box I knew for sure I was ready to get with it. There is something about CFJax that you can't stay away from, I dont know if it's a subliminal message like the motto of Fight Club - but we talk about it all the time - or just the fact that you have this family that doesn't have to say a word to you for you to know they are there for you. I will admit I was a little scared to come back and start working out, it got to a point with myself that I wouldn't do some things because I used my ankle as an excuse and also knew at the same time I wasn't ready to run a mile. At some point in your life you need to shed those crutches you use and break out of the 'safe zone'. Sometimes I keep going back to that safe zone but I try harder and harder each time to get farther away from it, because that zone is no longer safe.

My 'safe zone' , it's what I was doing and where I was headed. I would eat whatever I wanted and do whatever I wanted when I felt the need to because it felt good and well, safe. Meghan and Chris and everyone at the box have really shown me that there are other things in this world that are SO much better and a lot safer than where I was. I can't say thank you enough to them for what they have done, although their answer would be that I have done all the hard work. For me the hardest part is the push, the motivation and the love for the sport.

It wasn't a decision it was something that just happened. I went to Meghan and actually sat down with her about 'The Zone' and she told me what I needed to do. Today is 5/10/10 and I have been doing the zone for 1 week and a day, the outcome already is rediculous. I've already lost 6lbs in 1 week of being on the zone. This is my baseline and I have 1 week to go, I can see a change in myself and how my clothes are fitting already. Meghan says it's all me but I don't think I would have had this much luck if it wasn't for their drive at CFJax. They have never gave up on me and I sure as hell won't give up on them!

This is just the start of a battle for myself and getting started is the toughest part, I can't wait to see the send product. Going hard and keeping it movin'!